I have been reading lately. I’ve got three books going right now. One is about waking up brains, Kids Beyond Limits by Anat Baniel. Another is about being positive, Positivity by Barbara Fredrickson. The last one is about racism, Stamped From the Beginning by Ibram X. Kendi.
I observed many things after reading these books. Well, I haven’t finished any of them yet. The first observation is that I have a lot of negative thoughts. I write often about the things that go wrong. I complain a lot. I need to be more positive. I need to praise! There are so many wonderful things that happen in my life. Yet I mostly observe those that are not going right.
I also observed my son. I notice that his movements happen when he is deep in thought. His body just flies away as if it is following him mind. He is making up wonderful stories in there. He is re-living his favorite scenes from movies. He just doesn’t realize that he is spinning next to the china cabinet, or the desk where I have my coffee next to the computer. I observe this. What can I do to change it? I guess that I have got to finish the book. Right now we are working on paying attention to movement.
Right now, I am observing that the coffee and the Pseudoephedrine have worked. I was exhausted and had a headache a while ago. But now I am wide awake and I wonder if I will even be able to sleep once I go to bed.
It is important to observe yourself. To observe the bad habits that you have or the good ones that you hope to develop. But no one is going to be perfect. Me least of all. At least I can take some time to think about the positive things in life.
I’d like to have the habit of joy. That is what I need.
Why are you in a hurry?
Oh, it is because you are important!
What is wrong with me I should know.
Every one who is important has so much to do.
They never stop.
They don’t have time to eat.
They don’t have time to sleep.
They only have friends who are as rushed as they are.
I guess I only have friends who are willing to slow down.
I hate rushing.
I always have.
Every since we had timed math tests in school.
Why do we have to do everything fast?
I am not interested in imporatance.
Sometimes our lives are like storms
the churning sea tosses us about
We are like the milk in a churn
Beaten again and again
I only hope
that in the end
We may get something good for our sorrows
God, you dwell in unapproachable light.
You are Radiant.
Jesus said that he can dwell in me,
And I can dwell in Him
And together we become one with the Father.
I can be
Let us dwell.
I told my kids one day that I had learned so much from raising my oldest son that I wouldn’t make any mistakes with the younger two. The only problem is that the boys are not identical. Even though I may have learned some lessons from raising one, I can’t necessarily apply those lessons to the others. The challenges that each child faces are so different. And the difficulties that they pose to the parents are as unique as the children themselves.
New lessons must be learned with every child. I wonder how many children a person would have to raise before she would really, really, really become an expert.
I wish that it were not true. But I went to the Dr and they did the test. I had the flu. I am feeling much better now. But tired.
When I first began this blog, I wanted to write about my life as it would be if everything were perfect. Alas, though I think I could imagine it, I’m afraid that it would be too perfect to maintain interest, even from myself. Don’t we all need a little bit of challenge in our lives just to feel alive?